Saving Grace

I have these moments where I am watching me, like I am this completely other person and I see 'me' going about my life. Don't mock. No seriously, stop it.

They come at the oddest times and in the most ridiculous situations. Like at times when I'm on the escalators at the malls, or when I'm drawing the curtains at night, or when I'm smudging off the kohl at restaurant washrooms. For fuck's sake, even sometimes when I'm making out with someone. And mostly I hate those trices, I hate where I am in them, I hate what I'm doing in them and I basically hate me in them.

But today was another day. It happened when we were doing this routine to 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield. The theme was something along the lines of having a clean slate to start over with and that sort of shit. Very predictable for a Bedingfield song, of course.

But here's the unpredictable part, the part where as we rehearsed and rehearsed to the point of absolute physical exhaustion, I soon turned happy for no remotely logical reason at all. And strange happy at that. I can't quite explain the dynamics of it but I remember a sudden rush of brilliance, of life, of how I was glad to be where I was. And in that moment nothing else mattered. I was at dance class, and I was happy.The world could have been restricted to those mirrors and that room and I wouldn't know, I wouldn't care. I wanted to be in that moment, and I wanted to do what I was doing. I was watching me, and it was alright.

I had a beautiful day today, the kind of day where everything falls into place and you know you'll be okay. Well, eventually. So this is me keeping a record of it.